Let it be known across the kingdom of mirth and melody that Sir Sasha Farber, valiant knight of the ballroom and beloved master of the dance, shall not take his place upon the storied stage of Dancing with the Stars this season. After more than a decade of service in the grand tournament of rhythmic battle, the noble dancer hath confirmed his absence from the revelry of Season Four and Thirty.
🕯️ Whispers in the Hall of Mirrors
The winds of speculation did stir when Lady Carrie Ann Inaba, herself a judge of great renown, did by accident reveal the sacred list of dancing champions upon her enchanted scroll (called by the common folk, Instagram). The name of Sir Sasha was curiously absent, causing great murmurs and lamentations amongst the townsfolk.
“Truly, the season shall not be the same without thee,” one village maiden cried upon the platform TikTok, to which the noble Farber replied with gracious heart:
“Thank thee most kindly! ‘Tis sure to be a season of great merriment ❤️.”
📯 A Knight Steps Aside with Grace
To the scribes of E! News, Sir Sasha declared:
“I rejoice for the new cast and their noble efforts. This season shall be grand indeed. I hold dear the love and support of all who cheer me.”
Many courtiers and entertainers spoke in his favor — including Lady Selma Blair and Dame Nicole of House Snooki — who exclaimed,
“If thou danceth not this season, I shall take to the streets in protest!”
⚔️ The Cause Unrevealed, Yet Hopes Remain
Though no formal scroll hath yet declared the reason for his stepping away, Sir Sasha hath hinted at a grand journey — dubbed the “Sasha Tour” — perhaps a quest of his own design. It is whispered among the chambermaids and jesters that he may return in secret, not as a knight upon the dance floor, but perchance as a mentor, a judge, or a silent guardian watching from the wings.
When asked by a humble villager if he might yet appear, the dancer responded with naught but a blushing heart emoji, leaving the gates of possibility ajar.
📖 A Legacy Etched in the Scrolls of Dance
Sir Sasha’s tale began as a humble squire in the troupe of dancers before he was knighted in Season XIII. Returning in the XXIInd year, he hath fought valiantly in every season since, save for a brief retreat during Season XXV.
His last campaign, in Season XXXIII, saw him paired with the fair Jenn of House Tran, known from the land of The Bachelorette. Their companionship did cause tongues to wag, though they are said to have parted ways in the summer of the year MMXXV.
🕊️ A Farewell… For Now
Since his first bow, Sir Sasha hath become a champion in the hearts of many — known for his mirth, compassion, and spirited performances. Though he shall not contest for the fabled Mirrorball Trophy this season, his absence shall be deeply felt by the realm.
Let all raise a goblet to the noble Sasha Farber — may his feet ever find rhythm, whether on stage or on new paths yet unseen.
