Hear now the tale of the night of September the thirtieth, in the twenty-eighth season of The Voice, when singers of renown sat upon their thrones of judgment, and a young minstrel named Kenny Iko did enter the hall.
Iko, once of a band of men, lifted his voice to the heavens with the ballad of Bruno of Mars, “Versace on the Floor.” His tones soared so mightily that two lords of music, Niall of Horan and Snoop of Dogg, did turn their great chairs in awe, whilst Michael of Bublé and Reba of McEntire remained still, their faces grave.
Snoop, sage of rhythm and rhyme, praised the minstrel’s shining voice and crowned hair, saying, “Thy song is wondrous, and thy charm doubly so.” And when Iko spake, “I love to serenade the ladies,” the court laughed, for his jest was bold.
Then rose Niall, child once of the Directioners, who cried, “I turned for the swooning alone!” He lauded Iko, declaring that even Bruno himself had not soared to such notes.
But lo, Michael of Bublé, though he had not turned, confessed regret, sighing that Iko might have secured him a “three-peat” — a third crown of victory. And these words pricked the pride of Niall, for both he and Michael had won two seasons apiece, their rivalry sharp as steel.
Thus Niall pressed his hand upon the red rune-button, summoning a voice from afar. And behold — it was the voice of Blake of Shelton, the elder king of country, speaking from the plains of Oklahoma:
“I care not for thy three-peat,” came the booming echo.
The hall erupted in mirth. Niall lifted his eyes and spake as though to a father long departed: “Is that you, Dad? I miss you, Father. Surely you harvest wheat whilst I toil in this arena.”
Yet though the jest was mighty and the laughter great, the minstrel Iko chose not Niall, nor Michael, but Snoop the sage as his guide. And Snoop vowed, “I shall set before him songs of breadth and glory, wherein his falsetto shall soar, and he shall command the crowd as a master.”
Thus the night ended in cheer and rivalry, the echo of Shelton’s voice lingering in the hall, a ghostly blessing upon his disciple Niall. And so the contest continued, as singers sought crowns of song upon the stage of destiny.
